On the twelfth day of Christmas my Tumblr gave to me...

shewasanicon:

drinksmokefuck:

the-front-row:

funeral:

Twelve year-olds bitching
Eleven dressed up babies
Ten cats a-lawling 
Nine pics of Gaga
Eight awesome mixtapes
Seven gifs a-dancing
Six racist comments
Five brand new memes
Four links to formspring
Three reblogs
Two maintenance errors
And a hipster stuck in some trees.

hipsters in trees, the fuck?

via shewasanicon

foma:

5 held hostage at rural Virginia post office

(AP) – 13 minutes ago

WYTHEVILLE, Va. — An armed man in a wheelchair took five hostages Wednesday at a post office in western Virginia, forcing officials to cordon off three blocks of a downtown filled with holiday shoppers.

Shots were fired, but there were no reports of injuries. The man made no demands other than to ask for a pizza, said Pete Rendina, spokesman for the U.S. Postal Inspection Service.

Virginia State Police sent in a SWAT team and a bomb technician, and police at the scene told the Wytheville Enterprise the man had five pounds of a common plastic explosive strapped to his chest. State police spokeswoman Corinne Geller would not confirm that.

Susan Holman, manager of a store across the street, said officers told employees to leave the building because there was a man with explosives in the post office.

“The officer told us the man had enough explosives to take out the whole block,” Holman told the Enterprise.

Mayor Trent Crewe told The Associated Press five hostages were in the building, including three employees and two customers.

Postal worker Walt Korndoerfer said he was in the post office when he heard shots and a co-worker ran past. He called police and then ran himself.

“You hear a shot, you get out,” Korndoerfer told The Roanoke Times.

Town manager Wayne Sutherland, speaking from his office four blocks from the scene, said dozens of officers had circled the freestanding, brick post office.

“It’s completely surrounded by police in every direction,” Sutherland said. “All I can see is blue lights.”

Rendina said the man was in a wheelchair and missing part of his leg, but he had no other information. Postal inspectors from Roanoke and Charleston, W.Va., were at the scene.

Sutherland said the streets of the town of 8,500 were filled with holiday shoppers.

“It’s Christmas and all the stores are busy,” he said.

Wytheville is the county seat of Wythe County, in southwest Virginia.

Copyright © 2009 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.

JUST BRING HIM A GODDAMN PIZZA

via foma

Readers By Author

brokensocial:

Sylvia Plath

Girls who keep journals (too easy).

George Orwell

Conspiracy theorists (too easy).

Aldous Huxley

People who are bigger conspiracy theorists than Orwell fans.

More here

Max Barry: People who don’t mind the color orange

what?

via brokensocial

You know what I hate about seasons?

vicpav:

colinweaver:

Well, that title implies that I generally dislike seasons, and that is false. Anyway, here’s what I hate about seasons; more specifically, winter and summer.*

Reasons I Hate Winter:

1. When it’s summer and I’m sick of the heat, I am dying for winter to arrive. But it arrives so slowly that by the time it’s finally here in full force, I’m sick of it.

2. It lasts (basically) forever. Or, it comes and goes “slow as Christmas”.

3. The sun suddenly feels incredibly insecure (I’m guessing because without tree leaves obscuring its view, it thinks we can see all its imperfections) and decides to hide behind clouds all the time.

4. It’s incredibly cold. This is also one of the reasons I love it, but right now we aren’t talking about how I love the seasons, are we?

5. I can’t smoke a cigarette without feeling like I’m going to shiver my limbs off. When I quit smoking, I’m going to make sure to quit in the winter. It’ll be easier when I have to forgo warmth for that little taste of tobacco.

Reasons I Hate Summer:

1. Because there’s a movie called 500 Days of Summer, and though the movie is obviously not about five-hundred days of being sweaty and sunburnt, the thought still disgusts me.

2. When it’s winter and I’m sick and tired of being cold, I am dying for summer to arrive. But it takes forever and by the time it gets here I’m already tired of the heat.

3. The sun gets all cocky (it thinks that smog, tree leaves, and sunglasses are its makeup, but it’s wrong — we still see all its imperfections) and shows off its face all the damn time and therefore renders me basically incapable of driving east at sunrise and west at sunset.

4. It’s so damn hot. This is also one of the reasons I love summer, but we’re not talki—you get the idea.

5. Everyone shows off their hawt tan bodz and I look incredibly odd when I go swimming because I refuse to wear shorts of any kind or take my shirt off unless absolutely necessary (and I am therefore very pale).

——————————-

*I have opted to omit spring and fall because they’re so damn weird and I don’t feel like giving them attention.

I will say, however, that I dislike spring because it’s all sticky and humid and thunderstorm-ridden, and I dislike fall because it’s so unpredictable (at least if you’re in the midwest). And those seasons are meanies.*

——————————-

*I’ve been up for 24 hours, so I’m a little off kilter right now.

When you’re born and raised in San Diego, all of these things you call “seasons” meld into one year-round blob of 75 degrees temperate “weather”.

Real weather is such a quaint phenomenon for me, but it quickly turns into a nightmare, where it’s 40 degrees outside and all I have are fake winter clothes that San Diegans wear to feel bundled up when it’s cold (read: 65 degrees) outside. Plus I only moved up to the Bay Area, which is like a baby step towards weather.

Maybe one day I’ll live somewhere outside of California—the pacific northwest, or the east coast maybe, I don’t even know—and I’ll be able to actually form an opinion on/experience seasons.

Well in Virginia it’s dependent on where you are. Near the beach, it rarely snows and it gets humid as fuck during the summer. Further west, where I go to school, there are different types of seasons, I guess. Though there is no such thing as fall, just October.

Also it’s (500) Days of Summer. Yes, the proper spelling of that bothers me

via vicpav